Uncertain about the future of a planned or unplanned pregnancy

What are your options?

Pros and cons list

Seeing your thoughts and feelings on paper can help you weigh up both sides of the decision. It isn’t always about how many things are in each list but what they are that can help you decide.

Write down the pros (positives) and cons (negatives) of each of your options you can choose from.

Your future life imagined

Really try to picture the three possible options.

  • Perhaps think about how it might be 1 year from now, 2 years, 5 years, 10 years?
  • What do these options look like in your mind?
  • How do you feel when imagining them? – What feelings come up for you? Fear? Happiness?

 Here are some things that can be helpful to consider:

  • Your financial situation: Are you able to afford having a baby and bringing it up?
  • Your personal beliefs about abortion and adoption.
  • Your health: How do you think having a baby, having an abortion, or adoption would affect your physical and mental health?
  • Your support network: Who could support you, emotionally and practically, with having a baby, having an abortion, or adoption?
  • Which option do you think you would be able to cope with the best?

Try to observe the feelings you experience when thinking about each individual situation. Sometimes thinking about one of the options in detail can reveal your feelings about it.

Talk to other people

Some women can feel alone when trying to decide what to do about a pregnancy. It can be helpful to share your thoughts and feelings with other people, such as a partner, friends, family, or healthcare professionals (i.e. your GP).

However, it is important that the decision you make is yours, not somebody else’s.

Take a little more time to consider

The time you have to make this decision can depend on your circumstances and the pregnancy gestation, but sometimes it can help to give yourself a couple more days to consider your options.

Try to carry on with day-to-day life and not concentrate solely on the pregnancy decision. Sometimes the answer can ‘unfold’ or become clear to you with a little more time.